I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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