So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
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