mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My balls are so social today.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
