he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
