In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Farmville is her only friend.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
