I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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