I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
