ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize