I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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