I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I have aggressive nipples.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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