They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
