Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
