White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
