Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
