I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Randomize
