i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize