I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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