just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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