On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
