have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
