i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
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Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
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I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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