we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize