I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
third nipple confirmed
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
