go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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