sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
