I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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