summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
