sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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