i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
You can't just leave with hair like that
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.