...is it true? will i see you next weekend
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time