Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO