Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(806): View more from Texas

You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."

(1-806): View more from Texas

Best pick-up line ever!

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(806): You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck." (1-806): Best pick-up line ever! http://tfl.nu/plrf

Replies (35) Good night (10014) Bad night (1417)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.

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(402): Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house. http://tfl.nu/lo56

Replies (8) Good night (2102) Bad night (1252)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.

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(248): I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back. http://tfl.nu/312y

Replies (9) Good night (1836) Bad night (696)
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(302): View more from Delaware

I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.

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(302): I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me. http://tfl.nu/pfoh

Replies (7) Good night (3369) Bad night (1059)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.

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(605): Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs. http://tfl.nu/6a2k

Replies (14) Good night (2208) Bad night (717)
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(851): View more from

Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.

(522): View more from

Don't break up.

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(851): Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th. (522): Don't break up. http://tfl.nu/7rul

Replies (12) Good night (2355) Bad night (684)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee

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(717): dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee http://tfl.nu/bnsi

Replies (10) Good night (542) Bad night (1007)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.

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(612): Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey. http://tfl.nu/j7hl

Replies (7) Good night (487) Bad night (764)
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(907): View more from Alaska

There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.

(307): View more from Wyoming

I wholeheartedly concur

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(907): There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail. (307): I wholeheartedly concur http://tfl.nu/eyej

Replies (5) Good night (1275) Bad night (462)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.

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(215): Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship. http://tfl.nu/lmdk

Replies (2) Good night (662) Bad night (493)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.

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(802): Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced. http://tfl.nu/wakp

Replies (2) Good night (385) Bad night (541)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know

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(701): no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know http://tfl.nu/z4q4

Replies (2) Good night (436) Bad night (915)
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(310): View more from California

I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better

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(310): I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better http://tfl.nu/klrf

Replies (2) Good night (510) Bad night (366)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...

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(919): i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with... http://tfl.nu/x1sd

Replies (2) Good night (218) Bad night (646)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.

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(443): Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again. http://tfl.nu/t0yv

Replies (4) Good night (299) Bad night (573)

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