Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
two words: eviction party
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"