Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
