I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
