seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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