I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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