He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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