By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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