i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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