Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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