I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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