Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
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I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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