you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
