come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
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I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
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Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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