omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
