It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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