I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
