Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
