I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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