Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
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The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
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apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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