Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
