Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
