You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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