Buhtt sex?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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