we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
last night I used snow as a chaser
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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