she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
