We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize