Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
