I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize