how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
