Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
