If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
