Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i came on her dog
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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