why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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