So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Houston, we have a blender
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
