"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
