Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
