curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
