dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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