Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
A bitchslap is in order.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize