Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
