maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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