She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
